Bandura and Walter's Social Learning Theory addresses two key points--imitation and modeling. Children can learn through vicarious learning: learning that occurs by obeserving and replicating a behavior. Parental monitoring encompasses four aspects: observational learning: a parent shows a new behavior and the child learns this for the first time; disinhibiting/inhibiting behavior: a child observes negative or positive consequences of a parent's behavior; facilitating similar responses: a parent's behavior is a cue for a child's behavior; setting cognitive standards for self-regulation: a parent provides standards for the observing child to mimic. Children are more likely to select their parents to imitate because they are the ones who usually have the most influence on behavior. Another reason is that children want to be like parents if they perceive them as similar to themselves.
Heath, Phyllis. (2009). Parent-Child Relations Context, Research, and Application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Edcuation Inc.
Knowledge of these concepts is important because parents can help in the process of promoting prosocial behavior among children. They are more likely to learn compassion, honesty, etc. through interactions with their parents and other family members; much of learning takes place by observing and imitating. When children have an image of how to interact appropriately, they are more likely to develop friendships and show social competence. Also, parents' modeling can encourage children to try something new and feel confident that they can explore different things.
Dorothy Briggs
Dorothy Briggs was a very influential individual in the development of a "prevention-of-problems" approach known as an "Atmosphere of Psychological Safety". This approach simply states that the sole purpose or goal of parents is to instill a strong sense of self-worth into their children. With this approach comes the idea of self-esteem, where Briggs says there are three levels at which children will fall. A child with high self-esteem is known to have been unconditionally loved by their parents, a child with middle level self-esteem believes they will only be loved if their performances or actions are pleasing to others, specifically their parents, and children with low self-esteem question whether or not they are lovable beings, this coming from interactions with their parents. Another idea that Briggs came up with is known as "The House of Self", which explains how the self-esteem of a child is determined. Briggs says that the house of self is developed by things such as words, body language, and the treatment received by important individuals in their lives, such as their parents (Heath, 2009).
Heath, Phyllis. (2009). Parent-Child Relations Context, Research, and Application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.
These practices or guidances are exciting to learn about and to possibly use in the future when dealings with situations that may arise where such guidance may be needed. Parents and people working in this field, especially with children, need to know about the atmopshere of psychological safety and how something so little can change a child's way of looking at themselves. Having self-esteem issues while at a young age and not being able to get the help needed to fix or help that indivdual will lead to self-esteem issues later in life. Working individuals definitly need to know about how self-esteem can affect many aspects of a child's life, they are going to have an even harder time dealing with the self-esteem of a child that has come from a broken, dangerous, or even love-less home. One thing that I do advocate on is parents taking a class where these types of guidances and practices can be taught to them beforehand, so their child doesn't miss out on anything in life.
Four Pluses and a Wish
Getting children to cooperate and to do what they are told to do, are two things that most if not all parents would like their children to do. Parents have to make sure that the behavior being asked of the child is within the child’s capability to perform before asking for the child’s cooperation. Four pluses and a wish, a technique developed by William Purkey is an excellent option for motivating children to cooperate. Four pluses and a wish is defined as “a parenting technique for motivating children’s cooperation, which requires a parent to smile, use relaxed body language, say the child’s name, and pay a compliment to the child before making a request”(Heath Pg. 348). According to Heath this technique is a great choice because it includes an affirming exchange that is more likely to encourage cooperation than is the typical parental command (Heath, 2005).
Four pluses and a wish is an important technique that parents should know about, because it is a positive technique that can be used to get children to cooperate. This technique focuses on the child and is used in a matter where parents can positively ask their children to do things. Parents should make sure that their voice, facial expressions, and body language convey friendliness toward the child, when using four pluses and a wish(Heath, 2005). Next parents have to generate a request that acknowledges and affirms the child before making the request. This strategy is beneficiary to parents in a way that “assists them in becoming aware of the ways in which their facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and verbal statements impact their children’s willingness to comply with parental wishes”(Heath Pg. 84).
Heath, P. (2005). Parent-child relations: History, theory, research, and context (2nd Ed.). New Jersey: Pearson Merrill Prentice Hall
Punishment
Today many professionals promote parents to use positive reinforcement instead of negative punishment when dealing with their children’s behavioral incompliance because of the problems children may face when such harsh restrictions are placed on them to be perfect. According to Heath, by trying to punish a child’s behavior that is unwanted parents may be encouraging the behavior to reoccur more frequently. Sometimes by concentrating on the child’s mistake, the child may repeat it because they like having that focus on them even if it isn’t a pleasant response (Heath 103). When spanking and hitting is involved, children become less self sufficient, because they become use to their parents getting angry at every little mistake they make. Since these children grow up with forceful punishment in the household, they learn to become aggressive, unable to relate to other’s feelings and emotions, and have fewer friends because of these actions (Heath 104).
The idea of avoiding negative punishment is very important for parents to understand, because they will have more control in the relationship if they do. Children tend to respond to more positive ways of dealing with misbehavior. For those working in the field of human services it’s important to understand that these parents may just need more knowledge about the topic in order to understand how they are affecting their children. They should help demonstrate good approaches to take in place of the negative reaction so they have something to think of when the situation arises. Dinkmeyer and McKay stress the importance of helping the child feel like they have a little control in the relationship, because it gives them an incentive to choose the right actions (Heath 104). The most important aspect is to remember that these parents may have experienced this parenting style growing up and don’t know any better or they just don’t have the knowledge to know that their actions are not positively effecting their children (Heath 104).
Heath, Phyllis. Parent-Child Relations: Context, Research, and Application. Pearson Education: Upper Saddle River, New Jersey, 2009.
Bandura and Walter's Social Learning Theory addresses two key points--imitation and modeling. Children can learn through vicarious learning: learning that occurs by obeserving and replicating a behavior. Parental monitoring encompasses four aspects: observational learning: a parent shows a new behavior and the child learns this for the first time; disinhibiting/inhibiting behavior: a child observes negative or positive consequences of a parent's behavior; facilitating similar responses: a parent's behavior is a cue for a child's behavior; setting cognitive standards for self-regulation: a parent provides standards for the observing child to mimic. Children are more likely to select their parents to imitate because they are the ones who usually have the most influence on behavior. Another reason is that children want to be like parents if they perceive them as similar to themselves.
Heath, Phyllis. (2009). Parent-Child Relations Context, Research, and Application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Edcuation Inc.
Knowledge of these concepts is important because parents can help in the process of promoting prosocial behavior among children. They are more likely to learn compassion, honesty, etc. through interactions with their parents and other family members; much of learning takes place by observing and imitating. When children have an image of how to interact appropriately, they are more likely to develop friendships and show social competence. Also, parents' modeling can encourage children to try something new and feel confident that they can explore different things.
Dorothy Briggs
Dorothy Briggs was a very influential individual in the development of a "prevention-of-problems" approach known as an "Atmosphere of Psychological Safety". This approach simply states that the sole purpose or goal of parents is to instill a strong sense of self-worth into their children. With this approach comes the idea of self-esteem, where Briggs says there are three levels at which children will fall. A child with high self-esteem is known to have been unconditionally loved by their parents, a child with middle level self-esteem believes they will only be loved if their performances or actions are pleasing to others, specifically their parents, and children with low self-esteem question whether or not they are lovable beings, this coming from interactions with their parents. Another idea that Briggs came up with is known as "The House of Self", which explains how the self-esteem of a child is determined. Briggs says that the house of self is developed by things such as words, body language, and the treatment received by important individuals in their lives, such as their parents (Heath, 2009).
Heath, Phyllis. (2009). Parent-Child Relations Context, Research, and Application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.
These practices or guidances are exciting to learn about and to possibly use in the future when dealings with situations that may arise where such guidance may be needed. Parents and people working in this field, especially with children, need to know about the atmopshere of psychological safety and how something so little can change a child's way of looking at themselves. Having self-esteem issues while at a young age and not being able to get the help needed to fix or help that indivdual will lead to self-esteem issues later in life. Working individuals definitly need to know about how self-esteem can affect many aspects of a child's life, they are going to have an even harder time dealing with the self-esteem of a child that has come from a broken, dangerous, or even love-less home. One thing that I do advocate on is parents taking a class where these types of guidances and practices can be taught to them beforehand, so their child doesn't miss out on anything in life.
Four Pluses and a Wish
Getting children to cooperate and to do what they are told to do, are two things that most if not all parents would like their children to do. Parents have to make sure that the behavior being asked of the child is within the child’s capability to perform before asking for the child’s cooperation. Four pluses and a wish, a technique developed by William Purkey is an excellent option for motivating children to cooperate. Four pluses and a wish is defined as “a parenting technique for motivating children’s cooperation, which requires a parent to smile, use relaxed body language, say the child’s name, and pay a compliment to the child before making a request”(Heath Pg. 348). According to Heath this technique is a great choice because it includes an affirming exchange that is more likely to encourage cooperation than is the typical parental command (Heath, 2005).
Four pluses and a wish is an important technique that parents should know about, because it is a positive technique that can be used to get children to cooperate. This technique focuses on the child and is used in a matter where parents can positively ask their children to do things. Parents should make sure that their voice, facial expressions, and body language convey friendliness toward the child, when using four pluses and a wish (Heath, 2005). Next parents have to generate a request that acknowledges and affirms the child before making the request. This strategy is beneficiary to parents in a way that “assists them in becoming aware of the ways in which their facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and verbal statements impact their children’s willingness to comply with parental wishes”(Heath Pg. 84).
Heath, P. (2005). Parent-child relations: History, theory, research, and context (2nd Ed.). New Jersey: Pearson Merrill Prentice Hall
Punishment
Today many professionals promote parents to use positive reinforcement instead of negative punishment when dealing with their children’s behavioral incompliance because of the problems children may face when such harsh restrictions are placed on them to be perfect. According to Heath, by trying to punish a child’s behavior that is unwanted parents may be encouraging the behavior to reoccur more frequently. Sometimes by concentrating on the child’s mistake, the child may repeat it because they like having that focus on them even if it isn’t a pleasant response (Heath 103). When spanking and hitting is involved, children become less self sufficient, because they become use to their parents getting angry at every little mistake they make. Since these children grow up with forceful punishment in the household, they learn to become aggressive, unable to relate to other’s feelings and emotions, and have fewer friends because of these actions (Heath 104).
The idea of avoiding negative punishment is very important for parents to understand, because they will have more control in the relationship if they do. Children tend to respond to more positive ways of dealing with misbehavior. For those working in the field of human services it’s important to understand that these parents may just need more knowledge about the topic in order to understand how they are affecting their children. They should help demonstrate good approaches to take in place of the negative reaction so they have something to think of when the situation arises. Dinkmeyer and McKay stress the importance of helping the child feel like they have a little control in the relationship, because it gives them an incentive to choose the right actions (Heath 104). The most important aspect is to remember that these parents may have experienced this parenting style growing up and don’t know any better or they just don’t have the knowledge to know that their actions are not positively effecting their children (Heath 104).
Heath, Phyllis. Parent-Child Relations: Context, Research, and Application. Pearson Education: Upper Saddle River, New Jersey, 2009.